Friday, February 02, 2007
The big talk in the office today is about the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change releasing its report that there's over 90% certainty that global warming is being caused by humans. To which I say: so what? They still don't know for sure what the temperature rise is going to lead to, how the weather patterns will be affected, and whether it's really anything we have to worry about. And we can't make decisions based on uncertainty and fear. For example: we're 90% certain that there's some sort of chemical in our office that's causing our employees to fall ill. Over the past few years, there's practically been an epidemic of allergies and flus and fourteen cases of cholera. But we don't know for sure. So it would be silly to do much about it. We did redo the ventilation system in all the partners' offices, and that's led to the epidemic being mostly limited to associates ever since, but that could just be a coincidence, and it would be silly to spend the money renovating associate offices until we're sure. Surer than 90%, at least. Besides, there's so much associate turnover that much of the benefit of the renovation would accrue to people who wouldn't even be at the firm much longer. So we'd be wasting our money, and could better spend it on free cake. I don't know why everyone's getting so worked up about global warming anyway. I don't know why anyone would ever need to go outdoors.